Have you heard grown up people say 'when will you grow up?'
I was never asked to 'stop being a child'.
But yet I always anticipated growing up. I had a weird fascination for older people's lifestyles. People in their twenties with their coats and phones and fancy bags and busy lives intrigued me. I always wondered what must be exploding their minds. Felt like they're in a movie.
I watched tham wave me good morning from their yellow lit rooms. Yellow corporate, still light. 4 am breakfast and the silence of the roaring city they were approaching. I saw it. I wondered what it feels like to live that life and when I lived it, I wondered what it must have felt like. What it should've been like?
I seem like I'm caught up in a dreamscape.
I might have escaped but not lost. I think everyday about how someone said you won't grow up knowingly. In a fixed period of time or in an hour or on your birthday. It'll be a moment and you'll continue to live your life after that moment like you were before, but a thing will change. And not necessarily responsibilities or goals or opportunities will be that thing. Not that I'm playing dumb but sometimes I feel like for me I'll never know whether that moment passed. And if it will...
So I have escaped into this dreamscape but not lost.
It's my turn to live my dreams, 21 is here. And I'm gonna call myself grown up.
I'm glad to have everything I do, even the bad things. I'm grateful for the mornings as much as the nights.
Now that I have what I always liked maybe I'll just vibe
Sleep tight everybody! And it's never too late to give up on anything. Follow that light.
Sid x