If you’ve read one of these previously, you’ll notice this issue is a lot different. That is because I have a poetry piece (like a mini collection) to publish and a few other things I’m planning that surround the theme I’m stuck to for the work. It’s a new age where things are certain and hence the change. A shift.
Almost over 2 years ago when I pressed publish on what I called poetry collection, I never knew where I was heading with it. Now that I look back on it and realize how scary it was to put something up on the internet from my personal space, my journals and notes about life. It's about to be funny how dramatic my perception of life was at 17.
Realization doesn't come with warning and neither does it hit you in a moment and you just know it. You look back on a period of life and understand how significant it has been in making you what you are today. It took me two years to realize how I unintentionally resumed writing right after a year from publishing the last work. And it took me more time to acknowledge that inspiration and take hold of it, carry it ahead, work with the words and be assertive of making this into a thing.
I speak from experience and none to little reach when I say this period of realization of growth into adulthood and out of adolescence for me was that one semester from college. I believe everybody has this moment when they're in college, you look back on it and realize we're growing and everybody along with us is growing. It's not just them. Or it's not just you.
Well this semester I am talking about was the 3rd semester of my 8 semester college course. I still have no idea about what happened in life at that time. I would go to class everyday, speak one thing, B-15, for the roll call, watch my life drift by as it did and write little notes about little things and call it my poetry. But that wasn't the first time I heard of B-15, I've read about the iceberg B-15 a few times now.
It drifted away from the Ross Ice Shelf in Antarctica (which was also the place is calved from) in 2003. Aka the year I was born. And thence what this piece holds is notions about life from this period more or less specifically, this is called B-15.
The time I first thought of this project was at the end of the 3rd semester when the university and I both failed to stick to a schedule. I had big ideas, physical book, marketing campaigns and what not. Then as I said, only a few months ago I acknowledged this idea and inspiration to make it into a digital version of something significant of me resuming where I left off years ago. I would write on paper and my main goal was to convey everything I had to say in that moment, no matter how confusing or tangled the narratives were. I couldn't leave the writer residing in me or the readers I have, hanging in between for nothing. The story I started telling you cannot be left untold midway.
Although I earlier described this as a description of a small period of time, this my interpretation of moments in life, big ones and small, all the ones that I think caused me to be what I am.
Realization of a new way. Am I drifting away or being found?
Is this my regression or my destruction?
Come along and find out....
So B-15 is a digital poetry book that I curated for you from the notes and archive from last year on which I've been working on since this April. It shall be with you this September as you watch the clouds paint on a blue canvas, a wretched drift's picture.
Siddhesh