V. What Kind Of Writer Am I?

a not so subtle re-introduction

This is my first vacation since I've gotten into college. Apart from common-offs and sneaking out into a taco bell or into another state, this is the first real one on notice.

So whilst anticipating whether I'd describe the weather this June as summer or monsoon, I found myself wondering 'what do I write' :)

Occasionally over the past 2 years, it seems like I found stories to tell from lonely park strolls and insecure shopping sprees. But I'd call that kind of writing a downgrade from the 7 year old self's poetry which basically intended for world peace.

But no really, where did all the words go?

I shall let it be known when I find out.

Back to wondering what things to write about in the middle(almost the end) of a vacation, I feel like I'm going to start with a casual conversation and eventually end up writing a few essays. But for now, let's see what went how for me in recent times.

So if you ever wondered what kind of writer I am-

I'd say the kind who hesitates to completely commit to his college degree. The kind who knows he's holding onto this art form for trying to control his narrative in society but is equally aware of how life would just not make sense if that one important moment goes unnoticed in his diary.

Writing blossomed in my notes in the time of my healing. A healer once told me as humans we all are constantly healing, but I refused it and that's the day I first started reading. Reading what I wrote every night. And how I dared call those little excerpts- pieces of writing, they were taking form. So were my thoughts.

And somewhere back and forth between that sort of writing and barely reading it again, I decided I wanted to write. Little tales from my imagination, or just questions that I'd never answer.

The kind of writer who's poetry stays true to himself, it's what my life is. It's how I live. From the ways I live- I like to make poetry.

The kind of writer you're looking at is, the kind who knows he'll never write something as good as 'the Shining' by Stephen King or 'Bath' by Amy Lowell. And that, ladies and gentlemen, was what he worshipped for ages. So I know I'm no Hemingway in Paris, could never do what Shakespeare did with Venice. I'm just lonely but comfortable.

But I'm scared to ever look back at life and realise I was comfortable. So I try to stir myself up and then I'm anxious, but somehow I make my peace with it. I'll be crouched and hunchbacked into a notebook or my phone. And maybe I might just end up telling you what got me writing in that posture in the first place ;)

Maybe I'm an anxious and scared writer. Fear of too much, afraid to be too little.

But mainly, I know I am (too far too soon?)

Mainly, I will be the kind of writer I dreamt of being, every little moment documented uniquely. And somehow maybe I'll figure out what legacy means?